Reimagining Rest

Rest:

“To cease work or movement in order to relax, refresh oneself, or recover strength.”

We’ve been writing this blog about rest for months. The reason it’s taken so long is probably because we don’t rest enough. We’re usually working — developing strategies, juggling countless projects, professional and personal commitments and favors. So what does it mean for two super doers to reimagine rest? We discuss. 

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Katura: I had to actually look up the definition of rest because I’m still new to the practice. Rest used to mean sleep to me, especially as a kid. Now it looks like a lot of different things. Daydreaming, deep breathing, even just shutting my eyes for a few minutes. Rest also used to simply mean ‘not working.’ But now I know it’s more than that. It’s intentional and restorative. 

Bria: Rest definitely meant sleep to me until I became a real adult. I developed a habit of doing all the things, all the time and sleeping when I was completely spent. At some point though, I began to understand what my elders meant when they said, “I’m just resting my eyes.” The goal was not necessarily to sleep. It was more about resting their minds. I do remember them unintentionally falling asleep a few times though! But I’m learning how to calm my mind, not just my body with rest. 

Bria resting watching the sunset in Tulum, Mexico pre-COVID. (She is not pictured, lol)

Katura: Ooh that’s good. Resting the mind is tough for me. And learning to rest is work! I’m unlearning the need to constantly be productive. Doing is a reflex. If I close my laptop, I’m still on my phone - reading, writing, brainstorming. If I sit still on my couch, before I know it, a To Do list is forming in my head and I’m tackling the first task. When I do rest - no phone, no laptop, no tv, talking or To Dos - my mind clears and my creativity soars. I get ideas for books and blogs and new strategies. Of course all of that is more work. So my next step on this journey is resting for rest’s sake. Letting my mind clear or soar and not feeling like I have to take action on it either way. 

Bria: I think it’s interesting that there are so many books and articles on sleep hacks for more productivity versus sleep hacks to just...sleep! I think this speaks to a larger discussion around equality and equity - what it means to be lazy, who gets to be lazy and grind culture. For so long, people in marginalized communities have been told that they don’t have material wealth  because they don’t work hard enough. Yet, these same people were relabeled “essential workers” during the pandemic while others escaped with their families to tropical locales. Thankfully, people are calling attention to these unhealthy aspects of dominant culture and reshaping the narratives. 

Katura: I’ve stopped using ‘lazy’ to describe a state of inactivity. Maybe we’re tired or just not interested in a particular task. And I’m so glad there’s more pushback on grind culture. It always seemed to be more about bragging than doing impactful work anyway. 

Katura resting at Mytoi Gardens in Edgartown, MA

Bria: I know you follow The Nap Ministry. What are your thoughts on rest as resistance?

Katura: Those Nap Ministry posts get me together. One of my favorite posts is “Harriet Tubman was stopping to pray and rest and had prophetic dreams while leading the Underground Railroad.” Even now, I can hear Tricia Hersey (Nap Ministry founder): instead of doing all this talking and writing about rest, go lay down! 

You and I talk a lot about radical self care, and rest is a part of that. Society expects us to earn rest by working hard. But if I never do any more work in life - I still need rest. Believing rest is a right is resistance. Especially for those of us who were taught we need to work twice as hard to get half as much. I’m rejecting that. And as someone who’s experienced serious burnout before, I’m trying something new. I want to rest before I get tired. 

Bria: A word! “Rest before I get tired.” Deciding to reject the double standard for work and reward was definitely a game changer for me. I’m learning to prioritize what matters most to me and establish healthy boundaries. Also, I’m human. Humans rest. It’s literally an operating system requirement, lol!

Katura: There’s a lot more on my mind, but I feel like we can use this time to put our words into practice. So last question: What’s your favorite way to rest? It’s the beach for me. If I can find a spot that’s not crowded, where I can hear the waves crashing - that’s perfect.

Bria: I heard the waves when I read that! I totally agree. Somewhere not crowded, feeling the sun on my face, surrounded by lush, green landscapes near water makes me feel connected. There is something about the sound of water moving that sets my mind at ease. 

Equality, Individualism and Empowerment - A Women's History Month and IWD Conversation

Katura Hudson: The focus of International Women’s Day is gender equality. But that illustration of the people looking over the fence comes to mind. Is equality really what we want/need? 

Bria R. Griffith: Equality feels like a heart thing to me - compelling people to do the right thing - and that doesn’t get to the desired outcome, which I believe is equity. I’m not convinced that focusing on equality gets us access and freedom. But I do believe equity does. Equity requires intentional action to provide access to all and liberation provides space for people to be free in the ways they define it for themselves. Equity is where we want to end up - the long view, the capstone.

KH: Equity considers intersectionality in a way equality does not. Equality doesn’t feel big enough for me. My first thought is ‘equal to what or to whom?’ I want to be able to define success, growth, joy for myself - not in comparison to anyone else. Liberation is the goal for me. That wall needs to come down!

This year’s IWD theme addresses Collective Individualism. The IWD website states: “We are all parts of a whole. Our individual actions, conversations, behaviors and mindsets can have an impact on our larger society.” Can we talk about redefining ‘the whole’? 

BRG: Yes and we should! Too often individuals feel the pressure to assimilate, signaling exclusion from the whole. It’s time to actually respect (not co-opt) and promote the individual actions, conversations, behaviors and mindsets, which are required to shift and positively impact our larger society.

KH: If every person felt free and valued enough to bring their full selves to work - or any space - “the whole” would look a lot different.

On to the larger celebration of Women’s History Month. There are so many great books, blogs and other content that highlight women trailblazers. Junior high school me is slightly jealous - but very happy for today’s young people who have access to so many diverse examples of women leaders, innovators, activists, creators. Who are you celebrating this month? 

BRG: Some of the work I’m doing right now is focused on helping young girls challenge environmental racism and improve food access and security in their respective communities. A few women come to mind, but I’m always drawn back to Fannie Lou Hamer. In 1969, she founded the Freedom Farms Cooperative in Sunflower County, Mississippi. Freedom Farms implemented strategies that focused on investing in and rebuilding poor communities. Her work frequently brought her in direct opposition with those in power including an assault that caused her disability. She was powerful and unapologetically claimed her place in this world. Despite the challenges that her birth brought with it she believed that we didn’t have to work hard for access to unalienable rights. We are owed access because we were born.

KH: A new trailblazer for me is Caroline Still Anderson. Shout to my friend Thembi for introducing her to me via her FB posts. Caroline Anderson was born in Philly in 1848. Her parents were abolitionists and leaders on the Underground Railroad. She graduated from Oberlin College at 19, the youngest person and only Black student. She became a teacher, then a doctor with her own private practice. She was also a social activist. She fought for racial equality and organized Black YMCAs throughout Philadelphia.

KH: What are you most inspired by right now, within the context of women’s empowerment? For me, it’s young people. 

Mari Copeny is a great example. Here’s her bio: “activist, philanthropist, future president!” At eight years old, she wrote a letter to President Obama convincing him to come to her hometown of Flint, Michigan to get a closer look at the Flint water crisis. Since then, she has gained prominence (though not enough if you ask me) as an advocate for safe drinking water - not just in Flint but globally. Mari is 12 now. She’s self empowered, takes bold action, and challenges the system. We can all learn from her example. 

BRG: I’m most empowered by women claiming their space and liberation despite the consequences. They’ve inspired me to make changes in my life that I thought I’d never make because being fearless sounds great until you have to execute. Being witness to (a front-row seat, in some cases) women of color in particular, reclaiming their power has only inspired me to do and be more. Whether they’re claiming a seat at the table, flipping the table, building a new table or walking away from a table, these women are choosing to flourish on the path that works for them. To your point, young girls and women are more vocal and active than ever before asking for what they want and demanding their stories be heard. When a 12-year-old makes you question your commitment to change, we’re moving in the right direction!

BRG: It’s important to acknowledge the contributions of women during this month. What can we do to celebrate women’s contributions all year?

KH: We need to be curious and committed. There are so many women whose stories were (and are) ignored or misrepresented. Let’s seek them out. Time’s 100 Women of the Year series is a good starting point. Read those profiles and identify a few women to learn more about. It’s also important to broaden our idea of “achievement.” We shouldn’t limit our celebration to women who were first in their field, set records, or started movements. Let’s talk to women in our community, at our workplace, in our family. Learn and share (with their permission, of course) their stories. If they inspired you, challenged your thinking, helped you grow - that’s an achievement worth celebrating. 

BRG: It starts at home. Acknowledge the women and girls in your life in meaningful ways with your words and actions, support their endeavors, make room for them to take up space. Women have made such large contributions globally changing and shifting culture, contributing to scientific and technological advances, caring for families and loved ones, challenging past and present ideologies to include and acknowledge fifty percent of the population.There are so many hidden figures in our communities and neighborhoods - let’s shine a light.

Bria R. Griffith is a multi-industry organizational leader on a mission to connect community and business to implement strategies that promote social and economic equity. Katura Hudson is a writer and strategist with a passion for community; diversity, equity & inclusion; and New Edition.